wats wrong wit me?

somehow feel sme thng is really wrong wit me des days.... dono wat though...i always tot i was strong, never weak.... bt m nt getting such feelin nw... smethng is wrong smewhr....

m back

yaa... after so many days.... i kno... wat was i doin all des days?whr was i?not online?
why had i stopped blogging?

may be i can be prety modest and say tat i was busy, i had lot other work to do , din had time to sit down to recollect my tots...thnk of smethng vague and write abt it, feel gud abt riting...by geting acknowledgements from near and dear ones who always rise my spirit to a new high each time when they tel me tat they read the blog...honestly those few words bring a smile to my face and smetimes my eyes fill involuntarily wit watr...

i m one of those persons who belives i can always find time for the thngs whch i love to do....

for sme reason, i was nt feelin the drive to sit in frnt of the keyboarda n jott down my feeling... i tried today to self search and try to find a gud enuf reason myself... i sat for smetime, thnking.... i din find an answer at all even aftr much effort and calmness....

so... i decided y nt rite tdy, why nt rite nw! so here i m in frnt of my beloved comp typing out wats in me..

jus wanted to let u kno... tat i m back :)

do i care ?.... NO!

i feel the best way of handling a bondage is demonstrated by nature.... its the bond which is between a lotus leaf and the water droplet... how sparklin the droplet looks, it beautifies event the leaf which it is standing on ... may only for tat brief moment.... it looks fantastic for an outsiders eye and to be noted here is tat both the lotus leaf and the water droplet are happy!!

this gives us a message... " in a relationship , there shud be attachment but not bondage!!" this ofcourse u'll realise is d repetition of wat ever krishna has said .....

well well... why m i talking abt all dis here?? why m i talking abt it nw?
it left me also puzzled when i suddenly gt the idea of writing ths entry... for its been abt 3-4 months since my last contribution to "Buried Truths"....

lately few of my close frnds.. are distancing themselves from me... i m feeling...i don exactly kno the reason why... {if so} bt the mattr is clear ... times r nt the same.. i've changed a bit... which i guess has triggered a drastic change in them...

hmm.. change i think is inevitable, bt v shud consciously try to make sure tat it is a positive change which is being brought abt....!!

anyways , d point here is do i worry abt the apparent distancing of few of my closed ones frm me... ??

i ve nt been overly troubled by it and it has certainly not given me sleepless nights.... frm my side i ve always been normal and myself

so i don feel tat i shud really worry too much abt it.. and frankly i don care.....
when i say i don care, i mean it aint gona make any difference to me!

Regret?

when u think u've made the right decision and find out the next day that u'd not... it feels weird ...
honestly, every one tries consciously to do the right thing at any movement apart frm a few lame exceptions like eating mysore pak when u r a diabetic!


it baffles me , as to wat feeling one gets when he made a decision and it seemed as though it was right, in fact perfect! but after sometimes turns out to be one which puts a nail into his own coffin!

as a Chess Player, i've many a times undergone such a situation, where u feel u r doing the right thing and finally it turns out to be otherwise..... question is tat whether i shud repent on it as a false/incorrect move or not?

this question has always puzzled me for so many years... wheather i shud repent on something which i tot was right thing ato do?

at first, let i think back to the time i made a decision... things which were working in my head while taking the decision..

• wat are the alternatives i gt?
• is this the best move?
• wat are the consequences?
• wat do i gain if this works out?
• wat do i loose if it goofs up?

so, i'd have made a concious attempt and understood the situation, to best of my ABILITY to analyse the situation.

so, on that day, i was good enuf only to take that decision.
i was not aware of a higher truth. which came to my notice afer experience.

so, by this arguement i can draw these things

• i did a thing which i felt was right, so i should back myself.
• i've learnt now that ther is a better way to do , and have learnt from the experience
• from next time, i'd keep the past in mind to take better decisions
• i'll evolve and become a better person

so, i kind of conclude that i'd not like to keep regret on something which i'd done previously... wisely, bt not egoisticaly

i'd be contended and say, tat was who i was, good enuf to take only tat decision which was taken... now, i'm evolved!